I smell Sex and Candy here...
by Raiden X
Summary: There's a trap for Shinji, waiting in his very own room... ( This is a side-songfic for "Shinji Huntin' Season!", a must read if you're a avid fan of that fanfic series)"


This is a fanfic.

I don't own N.G.E. and everything about it. If I did, then I wouldn't be writing fanfics and I'll be up on my ass making another movie and all that mess.

Give your comments at raiden_x_@hotmail.com

Pre-ramblings: This is a side-songfic for "Shinji Huntin' Season", situated within chapter 5. This fic would probably make more sense if you've read that chapter. The music is from "Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground. 'nuf said.

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**_I smell Sex and Candy here..._**

Another songfic trilogy by Raiden_X_

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**[Misato's apartment]**

Shinji opened the door.

"I'm home!" Shinji hollered.

He had just arrived after visiting the graveyard and stopping at the local cafe for some hot coffee.

Today had it's ups and downs. So far, it has been mostly up.

His good mood was threatened as he was having doubts again... There was supposed to be guests today, right?

They're all probably in Asuka's room... He shrugged.

Actually, it kind of put him at ease that he wasn't obligated to greet them.

"Wark!" the household pet said welcomed the house-broken male from the living room, staring at the TV like a zombie.

"Are the guests here already?"

The penguin nodded in reply, eyes still transfixed upon the screen..

*Sigh!*

"I'll be in my room... call me when you want to eat."

He trudged towards the hallway, whistling a small tune.

As he approached his door, he couldn't help but shiver, as if something was amiss...

Et tu coffee?. First, green tea. Now, mocha chino? Maybe I should stop drinking those stuff altogether... or maybe it's just me who thinks they cause paranoia? He mused.

And what's that strange scent? Smells like candy...and something else... The boy noticed as his hand grasped at the door knob.

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**[Shin-chan's lovely suite]**

The Third Child entered his designated domain. The musky smell was denser within the room. Placing down his cello, he groped in the darkness for the light switches. 

He felt something soft and lacy instead.

Suddenly, the lights went on.

He realized that the 'button' he was pressing was actually an erect nipple, protruding from it's bra.

"Hi, Ikari-kun!" the group of girls greeted him in unison...

"AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!"

**Shinji's subconscious perverted ego (singing):**

Hangin' round downtown by myself,  
And I had so much time,  
To sit and think about myself,  
And then there she was,  
Like double cherry pie...  
Yeah there she was,  
Like disco superfly...

  
I smell sex and candy here...  
Who's that lounging in my chair?  
Who's that casting devious stares  
In my direction?-  
Mama this surely is a dream... yeah...

Mama this surely is a dream... yeah...  
  
Hangin' round downtown by myself,  
And I had too much caffeine,  
And I was thinkin' 'bout myself,  
And then there she was,  
In double platform suede...  
Yeah there she was,  
Like disco lemonade...

  
I smell sex and candy here...  
Who's that lounging in my chair?  
Who's that casting devious stares  
In my direction?-  
Mama this surely is a dream... yeah...  
Mama this surely is a dream... yeah...

Mama this surely is a dream... yeah..

I smell sex and candy here...  
Who's that lounging in my chair?  
Who's that casting devious stares  
In my direction?-  
Mama this surely is a dream... yeah...  
Mama this surely is a dream... yeah...

Mama this surely is a dream... yeah...  
Yeah mama this must be my dream...

Shinji was surrounded by horny young ladies, dressed in the latest Veronica's secret midnight fashion wear.

"We're bored..." Sakura purred from the boy's bed.

"Want to have a little fun?" Meimi asked in a sultry voice, holding on to Shinji's hand (which is still pressed onto her breast).

"I-I-I-..." He stuttered.

They slowly slithered towards the young Ikari, caressing his chest and stroking his hair.

Shinji became as stiff as a metal tool, in more ways than one.

"Oh, c'mon... you don't want to disappoint all of us now, wont you Shinji-kun?" Aki whispered huskily at his ear.

As most would probably expect, the boy fainted (typical) with a loud crash (ouch!).

He also received a concussion.

"Oh my god!" the girls began to panic.

"Asuka, Shinji! I'm home!" Misato yelled from the living room.

Apparently, Major Katsuragi found a loophole so she could dump all her paperwork at Hyuga's desk. Thus, she came home earlier than she had predicted.

The ladies began to panic some more.

"What are we gonna do?!" the others whined.

"Quick! Change back to your pajamas! And bring Ikari-kun at the bed!" Sakura ordered in a hushed tone.

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End of crappy songfic

**Author's Jibah-Jaba 3/10/02: **

I confess, I'm a very perverted person... y-you won't spread this info around now, won't you?...

----------standard crap------------------

I'm sorry if there are any grammatical or spelling errors (I'm always on a rush to finish things, you see?), I'm really a flunky when it comes to grammar. I'm not really a writer but I'm the kind of guy that likes to draw. Sometimes you can't draw something but you can do it in writing (only that it's really hard to picture stuff with words), that's why I started writing these pathetic excuses for fun.

Please send any comments or suggestions at raiden_x_@hotmail.com

I'm a good sport when it comes to bad reviews but sending them to me usually doesn't affect anything, it just most likely add up to the reviews counter.

You can also get weekly updates (I usually update it every Friday/Saturday...) of my plight on fanfiction writing at: http://raiden-x.tripod.com/raidenxsfanfics/ (construction in progress!)

See ya! 


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